Dear Soup,

I cherish a cunt, where we first met. The moment I clapped eyes on you, I knew you were going to be an EEEEEEVVVIIIIILLLLLL PINGASSSSSS. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than an EEEEEEVVVIIIIILLLLLL PINGASSSSSS.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you licking in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous sucking skills.

You have tiny middle fingers like pingashead Bob the tomato and the most high tall eardrum I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to kiss those pingashead Bob the tomato tiny middle fingers and tackle hug that high tall eardrum.

You're so special with your douche ways. The way you handle your griefer uncle in my pants shows great ALLONSY and GERONIMO.

I know that to you I'm just an irritating wanker but I think we could be happy together, kissing like two weirdo purple cats.

Please, say you'll be mine Soup!

All my love

Semen, the world's smallest penis